HOW TO STOP LETTING YOURSELF GET PUSHED AROUND
How many times have you felt weak, helpless, and frail? How many times have you been treated disrespectfully for no apparent reason? I have, countless times. And if you are reading this, you probably have too. Did you react? Did you stand up for yourself?
I decided to write this post after having an awful experience with a peer. Let me explain.
I recently worked for about two months with a girl who is the same age as me. In the beginning, I thought she was a pleasant and nice person. After a week, her attitude towards me changed all of a sudden. She began to treat me badly, using harsh manners and talking to me in an aggressive way. She was being really rude, and I didn't have any clue about the reason why. I thought a lot through the possible reasons, unsuccessfully. "What did I do wrong?"
I wanted to talk to her in order to settle the issue. But the worst thing was the fact that I couldn't. Whenever she acted like that, I just stayed silent, with my mouth shut, my mind blank, and my heart crackling. I let her do so. Whenever I woke up in the morning my first thought was "Today too, she is going to treat me like crap." And that's not a good feeling at all, trust me.
The fact is that I have always been the shy girl. The nerdy one, the one who speaks only when asked to. A sensitive and weak girl, who cannot even gain the respect of those around her.
There are two questions that have been haunting me for my whole life.
"How can I be happier?"
"How can I be stronger?"
The answers are not simple.
After about two weeks of endurance, I made up my mind. I needed to act. "Now or never." My friends gave me a lot of advices, trying to cheer me up and supporting me. "You don't deserve to be treated like that". That's right.
Nietzsche would say: "Do you want this once more and innumerable times more?"
NO, of course. It was time to turn things over. I replied, in a polite way, to her nasty comments. She looked surprised, but she didn't want to lose. So, she did it again, since her desire to break me apart was quite strong. I replied once again. Until she gave up. And I conquered a new power. I was able to defend myself.
"Are you stronger now?", you might wonder. The answer is "not yet". However, I've taken a huge step forward, and I am proud of it! The secret is to take little steps, at your own pace.
After telling you my experience, I want to share with you some tips as well. I sincerely hope they will help you.
1 - EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
Sometimes, people might misunderstand your words or your actions. So, they start to have a different attitude towards you, and you might get hurt. My advice is to talk to them, and not to be afraid of it. Easier said than done, I know. But, give it a try. SPEAK UP. Don't let some misunderstanding bother you and ruin your day. And if they don't understand, you can simply tell them to go to hell. Just kidding, hehe (maybe).
2 - BE ASSERTIVE and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
You have a strong and beautiful personality inside you. It's just waiting to come out. There will always be someone who is going to push you down and humiliate you in some way. Someone who loves to pick on vulnerable, kind, and good tempered people. Because nice people hardly say "no", they don't like conflicts and arguing. You know what? If someone acts arrogant or aggressive, surprise him/her. Don't be passive. Say what you want to say in a clear, straightforward manner, and never raise your voice. Also, keep in mind that body language is important too. No, I am not saying that you have to fight D:. What I mean is that your whole body has to show confidence, not only your words. Your eyes, your hands, your back, your feet, etc.
3 - TEACH OTHERS HOW TO TREAT YOU
Your ideas, your thoughts, your rights, and your feelings are important. You and I, each of us is important. So, make clear this point. We all need respect. We don't deserve to get walked all over, right?
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent", Eleanor Roosevelt
Well, I hope you enjoyed this post.
If you want, I am here to help you. So, feel free to ask any questions!
See you soon,
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